New Here

New Here

New Here

What Defines You?

by Shelby Gorman
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. (1 Peter 2:24)
In my last post I shared how I like to write down my prayers and even shared a few with you. With this one I thought I would let you in on why:
I am a sinner.
If you know the Bible then you know that we all are, but I was stuck in that fact. In general I tend to beat myself down, so when I became a believer and saw my sin, it was too much. I couldn’t move past it and see that I am covered in Christ’s blood. I’ve always dealt with depression but didn’t realize it until last year. I am a very happy person, but I get defeated easily. I can turn on myself in a heartbeat and not be able to do anything. In saying all of this I am telling you that reading my bible and writing helped me. It became a way for me to refocus my negative thoughts on God and what was true of Him, and myself.
Joseph and I started meeting with Mischa because, while these things were helpful, I was still having a hard time. After a lot of consideration I talked with my doctor about medicine to help. Admitting that I couldn’t handle this on my own was hard for me. Reading my Bible and writing down my prayers reminded me that it’s ok to be helpless. It is not something that I am ashamed of anymore. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul says that his weakness reveals the power of Christ.  
I have learned that writing down the things I held inside led to talking about them, which led to doing something about them. I no longer wanted to let my sin define me but my brain needed some help with that, and that is ok. In Acts 10:15 the Lord says to Peter, “What God has made clean, do not call common.” God has made me clean and so I should be able to live in that truth. Though I live in the truth that I am covered in Christ’s blood, I don’t forget what he brought me out of. He exposed me to the truth of my sin and I should remember who I was before so that I see my need for him, but now I know that staying there isn’t healthy. 
I recently took a tumble down our stairs and my elbow grew a golf ball. I knew I needed to get it x-rayed to be sure it wasn’t something serious, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to go on like it was fine. I didn’t want to fix the elbow even though it was causing me harm. I’d rather stay there, instead of doing what we needed to do to fix it. We do the same thing with our sins. We would rather hold them in and let them destroy us instead of doing what we need to do to move past them and closer to God. It seems too difficult. I also kept saying that I didn’t have time to get it checked out, which is another excuse we make. It would take too much time to really work on ourselves right now. Maybe later. In the end, I went to the doctor and my arm was not broken. Just bruised bone and nerves. I was relieved to know the truth of what was going on in my arm. I was relieved that being exposed by the x-ray, in the end, gave me freedom from wondering “what if.” We need our hearts to be exposed for what they are so that freedom can come.
In the Disney movie Moana there is a line that I think is very beautiful. I hear it and immediately tear up because it reminds me of the Lord.
I have crossed the horizon to find you
I know your name
They have stolen the heart from inside you
But this does not define you
This is not who you are
You know who you are
He has conquered death to save you. He knows your name. These sins no longer define you. You are covered by the blood of Christ.  You are His. So go and live in that truth. Don’t be a slave any longer. For freedom Christ has set you free. (Galatians 5:1) 

1 Comment

Your transparency is so valuable! Thank you for boasting in Christ and what HE has done to redeem sinners like us. You are a real blessing to the local church!!

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