by Shelby Gorman

I am not a natural follower. As my friend Meagan Howard would tell you, I am very much an enneagram four… The Individualist. I take pride in being different. In thinking differently. In being able to see different views from different people. All of that can be good. Jesus himself was not afraid of being different. He tried to tell the Pharisees that their conformed thinking had blinded them from the most important thing, Him. But when consumed with myself, as I often am, I try to be too rebellious. I doubt God and do not want to obey my Father

To the world, Jesus was a rebel, but to his Father he was obedient. I am called to walk in his ways, to be made more and more like him. Is this our natural tendency? For me, it is definitely not. I naturally want to follow no one. But I find that when I am led by the Spirit, I am my happiest following Christ. When he is guiding my steps, I have more joy, not because of my circumstances but because of my desires. My desire is no longer for my own justice but for his glory.

I love the Bible. I know that sounds like a “good christian” thing to say but I don’t mean it in that way. I love words and history. The bible has some of the most beautiful words I have ever read. It also does not go along with the views of the time it was written in. Moses was married to a black woman, Rahab was a prostitute who trusted God, Boaz didn’t take advantage of Ruth sexually even though she gave herself to him. I follow God because he is constantly taking care of and changing the hearts of his people. And when we are led by His Spirit we do remarkable things. 

I am not saying that I am amazed at the people of the Bible. All of them are nothing on their own. That’s why we have that simple but really lovely phrase, “But God.” It is His mercy acting in us that causes us to do lovely things for His glory. I give myself to him because he makes me so much better. On my own I am nothing and I can do nothing but I am amazed at what he can do through me. I am amazed at the God the people in the Bible follow, knowing that it is my God too.

That is who I follow. Jesus kills my natural desire to follow no man, to trust no one. He says follow me, trust me, I am worth it. Do not be a follower of the world or your sinful desires but follow the one who you were made to follow. He is the potter and we are the clay. Let his loving hands mold you into something beautiful. 

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one.”  -John 10:27-30