Depression is a very common battle that people face through their lives. Often times we try to find a reason for depression. For example, we see someone experience a loss of a loved one and correlate their depression to that loss. While depression can be onset by a loss or some other circumstance, there are other times when depression seems to hit someone out of nowhere. Because we are relational beings created by a relational Creator, one of the keys to combating depression is relationships. So, how do we help those who are depressed, whether it is due to a loss or just something that they are struggling with?

First, I think that we need to have a biblical understanding of depression. It seems that Christians really struggle to admit to having depression, and it makes sense why. There’s a lot of shame tied to feeling sad when the Bible says, “Rejoice in the Lord always” (Phil 4:4) or “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:16-18). Many Christians with depression wonder how they can be a faithful Christian who tries to follow these commands and still experience depression.

So what do we do as Christians when we or a loved one is depressed? One chapter I like to have clients go to when they are experiencing depression is Psalm 88. It is a psalm of the sons of Korah where the author cries out about his feelings of abandonment from God. What has always struck me is that God allowed this psalm to be in the canon, as it is strong in its questioning of God. Here are some excerpts:

• “You have put me in the depths of the pit, in the regions dark and deep.” (verse 6)
• “O LORD, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me?” (verse 14)
• “You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness.” (verse 18).

These are strong indictments against God. Why would someone allow that to be in a book that is ultimately about their glory? This is one of those instances in which we see how great God is. He’s so great that He has scripture that meets us at all different points. Psalm 88 relates to those struggling with depression, anger, rejection, and abandonment. God put it in the Bible, as if to say, “I hear your cry. You are not alone.”

One of the things that I love about Psalm 88 is that it ends with verse 18 (listed above). Many psalms are written as a lament, but they usually end with a declaration about God’s goodness or a request for God to meet a need. Psalm 88, though, just ends with “You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness.” There is no statement about how God will solve the situation; there isn’t a cry out for his help. The reader simply is left in the depths of the author’s pain. I think that this is the first step to understanding how to help people who are depressed. Don’t try to “fix” them. Don’t start with “You should...” or “You shouldn’t...” as I’ve found that most of the time they know what they should and shouldn’t be doing. Instead, sit with them in their emotions. Allow them to open up and tell you about their pain and sadness. Meet them in the pit of their despair. It’s not easy. But neither is depression.